The Handbook
The Handbook

Killing Kittens Parties For The Sexual Elite

I don’t know about you but whenever we use to hear of the term Killing Kittens we thought of fluffy little animals suffering a dire death.

But that is definitely not what this is….how naïve of us.

Killings Kittens has been running in London for about 10 years now and is branded as private sex parties for the world’s sexual elite. The club was founded by Kate Middleton’s school pal – Emma Sayle. Sounds intimidating? Well lets just say it’s not for the faint hearted…

In this pro-feminist era Killing Kittens works for women as they are unapologetic about the pursuit of female pleasure because lets face it, there is still stigma attached to a lady and her errm midnight activity. Free the…female?

“Woah. Woah. Woah,” we hear you say. ”Hold on a minute.” It is pretty clear that something like this could get shady pretty quickly but the general vibe is sophisticated, upmarket and a little bit saucy.

There is a vetting process after all, where you have to submit a photo before attending and also a dress code – cocktail dresses, suits, ties and masks.

Lone men are not allowed, thank God. That gets rid of all the late night, foul prowlers you meet in nightclubs after 12:00am who have the performance rating of Leonardo Di Caprio in The Wolf of Wall Street. Celebrities are often in attendance, but of course all details are kept private. Luisa Zissman outwardly states that she is a fan though. In Luisa we trust. Apparently a Labour MP once turned up only wearing pants and a dog’s collar as a woman led him around the room.

We’re not saying we have been. We’re not saying we haven’t been. But we are saying that you should go.

Let us know how you get on…