It might only be October, but chances are there is already talk of the office Christmas party… it better not just be us… for some it’s the highlight of the year, for others it’s that awkward date where you have to actually socialise with your colleagues. Either way you don’t want to make a fool of yourself do you? So learn these rules now and you’ll be left with no regrets.*
Eating is Not Cheating
First of all, if you really want to ‘get stuck in’, remember to eat. And no, 2 prawn puffs certainly does not substitute as supper. Nor will 4 sausage rolls line the stomach and allow you to ‘drink all you want’. Eat as much as possible. Then check your teeth and stuff some Tic- Tacs in your mouth, particularly if you’ve eaten anything that might have garlic in it.
Know Who to Flirt With
If drinking makes you feel like a dog on heat, make sure you do your homework before you set your targets. For example, find out if that hot new guy has a girlfriend before you slur the words ‘lonely’ or ‘it’s been so long’. Not only will you end up embarrassed but potentially find your name on the ‘wanted list’ from the hot guy’s other half. Next up flirting with the boss is the ultimate no-no; even if you think a little eye lid batting would increase your chance of a pay rise… it won’t… and your reputation will be seriously question. Especially if Hannah from Accounts busts you in a ‘compromising position’. There will definitely be a lot of whispering by the kettle for weeks on end.
No Funny Games
We all know that too much wine fuels ‘funny’ games. Mmm. Well, they seem funny at the time. The old cliché- the naked body parts and the photocopier machine is definitely one to erase from your mind. Does anyone actually do that? Oh, and whilst we are on the subject of ‘funny’ games – never initiate the conga or the can-can. We are not five.
If you come across a pole or a podium; steer well clear. Chances are you probably don’t look like you know what you’re doing. Even if that last double martini told you, you do. Cameras are also to be avoided… unless you want to be cringing at the 782 tagged photos of you on Facebook. Memories fade but a video of you pelvic thrusting to Prince, will not so, if you see a video camera, go to the other end of the room. Sticking your thumbs up and slurring to everyone in the world a ‘ve-wee ve-wee me-wee chissmas’ is not cool.
Make It In Next Day
Finally, if you make it home in one piece no matter how rough you feel in the morning- never pull a sickie… we all had the prawn puffs and we’re all fine. Bring the hangover cures with you to work, at least you’ll be welcomed in like a hero. You have to go in- even if the only reason is to apologise profusely to Linda in Human Resources for asking to look at everyone’s pay roll.
*We can’t promise, sorry.