Stop the presses! This is seriously important news. Like, properly important. Stand aside Brexit, pipe-down Putin, this is important shizz. Harry and Meghan have chosen their wedding cake… and it’s not fruitcake. The lemon and elderflower number they’ve gone with is courtesy of East London’s Violet Bakery, owned by Meghan Markle’s Californian pal Claire Ptak. Covered with buttercream and decorated with fresh flowers, the cake is a serious break with royal tradition, where fruitcakes has reigned since Queen Victoria’s wedding.
Which sparked a high-brow and serious argument in The Handbook office. Is it alright to ditch traditional fruitcake for a wedding? Here are our opposing views.
Editorial Assistant Fenella:
Fruitcake is amazing and here’s why. There’s fruit in it, therefore it’s the healthiest cake around and, even better, it’s got booze in it too (yes, yes, I know not so healthy, but…*hic*). The alcohol content is perfect for steadying the nerves, any after vow jitters and all the “OmigodwhathaveIdones!?”. The fruit symbolises fertility and now that you’ve promised your eggs to one person’s seed for the rest of your life you’ll need all the help you can get. Bonus it keeps (due to all the scrummy alcohol it’s absorbed)! No need to cry as much of your cake becomes stale before you can even eat it, the fruitcake can survive for years, literally, people sleep with it under their pillows and everything…it’s tradition folks (not just midnight feast fetish)!
Deputy Editor Phil:
Clearly Harry and Meghan decided that Prince Charles should be the only fruitcake in attendance at the couple’s nuptials in May, and instead they’ve gone with a lemon drizzle. Good on them, fruitcake is horrendous. Not only does is it denser than a black hole, they are invariably dry, inedible and topped with a deep Beast-From-The-East style covering of marzipan in order to hide the crime beneath. What’s more, it’s their wedding, they should be allowed to do whatever they want. If we were expecting Harry to follow the traditional route he’d have to marry a European princess, buck-teethed and thoroughly imbred over generations. Instead he’s embraced modernity and chosen an American actress and a lemon wedding cake. And for the royal family, drizzle cake is progress.
So there we have it, two opposing views. Either way, we expect that Violet will have queues around the block after yesterday’s announcement so head down.
Violet Cakes: 47 Wilton Way, Hackney, E8 3ED, www.violetcakes.com