The Handbook
The Handbook

Christmas is over, the ridiculous Coca Cola lorry is beeping as it reverses back up the hill, the Heathrow bears are back by the pool in Florida and Elton John’s mum’s putting the piano on eBay. And so we collectively look forward to our next chocolate binge-fest: Easter. No joke, my local Sainsbury’s already has the eggs in, some of the big ones expire before Easter even happens! And there’s one egg, in particular, that’s getting a lot of attention: Cadbury’s WHITE Creme Egg. Because you can win £10,000!

Here’s the skinny, as it were: latter-day Wonkas Cadbury’s have popped 783 (a nice, round, number) white Creme Eggs into their output of millions. These will then be distributed to supermarkets across the nation. So far, so spurious.

The drill, should you be one of the lucky 783, is then to contact Cadbury’s and find out how much you’ve won. 592 of the white eggs are worth a poxy 50 quid, another 55 of them worth £100, then 18 come to a value of £1,000 and seven will net you the top prize of £10,000. Pretty neat huh?

Well yes, if you’re working in their marketing department. We’re not being paid to write this article, but a sponsored piece on The Handbook costs a smooth four figure amount. Even more so if Cadbury’s had wanted to advertise in one of the many newspapers that will be covering this. When you consider that the total prize pot is a measly £152,700, this will be more than recouped in free advertising on day one. Add to that the sales bump as people bulk-buy Creme Eggs in the hope of striking chocolate gold and Mr Cadbury is doing pretty well. Given the Creme Egg market is worth £70m to Cadbury’s, a sales bump will be worth millions, and on a minimal marketing budget it’s easy money!

Which begs the question (and pedanists will tell me I’ve used the phrase incorrectly, I realise), why is the prize pot so low? I mean, how stingy, when Creme Eggs are raking in the Mondelēz millions, to put so few white eggs and with such a small pot out there. Why not put four eggs worth £250,000 each out? Like a lottery ticket you can actually eat? Or thousands of £10 eggs? Led by our greed, we’ll devour them by the box-load!

Or maybe greed is the issue in the first place. If this shows us one thing, it’s that Cadbury’s are looking for new ways to shift their Creme Eggs. Which might be because someone in America came over with a flipchart and a stick, demanding revenue growth (remember when they changed the recipe, everyone rebelled and they lost £6m in sales?), but maybe it’s actually because we are, as a nation, less greedy? The timing of this flurry can’t be coincidence, just at the moment when we’re all trying to eat less sugar, they’re launching a major marketing push. Could it be that we’re getting healthier, more conscious of our sugar intake or, even, that we’re getting better at sticking to our new years resolutions?

Either way, I’m off to stock up on Creme Eggs.