Chew chew! All aboard the Tattinger Express, a non-stopping service straight to your liver. Someone at Burger & Lobster has decided that the most efficient way to serve Champagne is to send it via trainset, and so for the restaurant’s new bottomless Champagne brunch they’ll be firing up the miniature railway and sending your drinks on the length of the nine-metre bar.

Putting a whole new meaning to ‘the fat controller’, you can gorge on the full a la carte menu, which includes their ‘famous’ prime cut Nebraskan 10 ounce burger or wild Atlantic lobster (apparently one of the few places in London serving it) or the famous Burger & Lobster combo that gives the restaurant its name and guests the best of both worlds.

But to really make your brunch super-memorable you’re going to want to pay the £25 extra that buys you bottomless Champagne and a ticket to ride (and let’s face it, £25 for a 9 metre train ride is pretty competitive compared to South Western Railway fares). Burger and Lobster have teamed up with Taittinger for the offer, so it’s real Champagne, non of this bottomless Prosecco nonsense, and the food is, of course, up to Burger & Lobster’s usual standard.

We’ll be down there as soon as it opens next week, and the deal will run from Friday 29th March at Burger & Lobster Soho for three weeks. Without a doubt this really is the best train journey in the UK. Someone better tell Michael Portillo.