Ayes front, there’s a new immersive restaurant that’ll have you reliving all your favourite Brexit moments coming to town and it’s going to be the real no deal.
The Backstop opens today in Westminster and will be the home of all things Brexit, from the menu to the decor and, of course, the conversation. The novel idea is inspired by similar, politically themed, restaurants like Bunga Bunga and Maggies and aims to recreate the buzz around Brexit to a new audience of London’s discerning diners and we guarantee it’ll get your meaningful vote.
The menu has been lovingly created by French Head Chef Michel Barnier, who has knockeD UP some classics, but as a twist the menu will be entirely concocted of stockpiled tinned food. Highlights include a starter of Norwegian-Style canned tuna served with Brexit pickle, followed by a main of Boris’s Beans, basically Heinz baked beans with hotdog sausages and, of course, a dessert of Eton Mess with a side of Corbyn fudge. Sommelier Jean-Claude Junker has the unenviable job of piecing together a drinks list without French wine or Champagne (because he’s drunk it), so expect London’s widest selection of ales, provided it’s that Spitfire stuff that old men and James May drink.
The decor will be austerity themed, decorated throughout with a unique wallpaper fashioned from burnt £50 notes, remnants from the £40bn EU/UK divorce bill as well as broken items of NHS equipment, school textbooks paid for by struggling teachers and MPs’ payslips.
The immersive experience will see diners forced to talk about Brexit throughout the entire meal, with all other topics strictly verboten. Guests will only be permitted to sit on tables with diametrically opposing views as they re-hash deeply held arguments ad nauseam.
The restaurant aims to turn over £350m a week on opening. They’ll also be experimenting with a new payment system of barter, heralding in a new post-Brexit alternative to Apple Pay with payment taken in pebbles or pieces of flint.
Taking order-orders from April 1st, The Backstop will certainly get your royal assent and ensure you want to remain. Or leave.