The Handbook
The Handbook

What are you doing next Friday morning? No you’re not – cancel it, this is a pop emergency. Madonna has announced a series of London concerts and you’re going to be furiously refreshing a glitchy Ticketmaster page trying to get tickets. Here’s how to make it go smoothly.

The actual queen of pop will be in Chicago, LA, New York and London for her Madame X tour and, Material Girls (and guys) that we are, we’re more excited than a virgin being touched for the very first time: Madonna, we’re Crazy For You. But first you’re going to have to Get Into The Groove of a slightly different ticket booking system, one that’ll make the getting Hamilton tickets look like buying a Snickers bar. Here’s how you need to go about things…

First you need to register. To get into this queue-for-the-queue you have to head to the Ticketmaster website and register. You must do this before 4pm on Thursday. Then you need to wait.

Next, on the evening of Thursday 23rd May you’ll receive an email confirming whether you’ve been verified or if you’re on the waiting list. It’s totally unclear how this will be allocated, but damn they’ll be harvesting a lot of data and building one hell of a valuable mailing list through the process. Let’s assume you’ve been successful, onto the next stage in your quest…

… You’ll receive a text message on Friday 24th May, which will contain a purchase link and a personal access code. Let’s hope you’ve got a smart phone otherwise this will all be a total pain. Then follow the link at 09:00 and you’ll be able to buy tickets.

As if you needed any encouragement, it’s Madonna after all, remember that it’s all going to be worth it. She’s literally the queen of pop, her shows are famously extravagant and you’ll remember this for the rest of your actual life. And if all that’s not reason enough, maybe she’ll fall over again.