The Handbook
The Handbook

With Brexit raging, with the economy, politics and the planet all in disarray, there’s only one viable solution. And it’s cats. Lots of cats. And somewhere, faraway and lost to the mists of time, there’s an ancient city that’s run entirely by cats… and now their time has come. Welcome to the city of Catlantis. Cats will know how to deal with Jeremy Corbyn, cats can negotiate with the EU and when it comes to achieving net zero emissions, or curing aids, cats that have all the answers.  And Catlantis is coming to London. It’s going to be cataclysmic…

Yes, this is the last thing I’m writing on a hot, muggy Friday afternoon. Does it show?

Catlantis is being billed as London’s latest cat café (also known as it’s second). Sadly we won’t be eating Tabby T-Bone or Persian Pasties, and, as far as we can tell, the cats themselves won’t be involved in the food preparation process either, but along with your meal you’ll be able to pet 15 rescue cats as they nuzzle against your calves, tangle your shoelaces and scratch through your jeans.

The catstraunt, coming to Marylebone at the end of this year, will raise money for cat causes, donating some of their takings toward cats protection charities to help treat and feed cats.

In terms of hard-and-fast information, beyond a vague video and some amateur renders, we’re not sure there’s much real fact going on here, so whether or not it’s just a publicity stunt remains to be seen. But if it happens, it’s going to be paw-some.

Okay, can I leave now?