The Handbook
The Handbook

The nation’s favourite avuncular scientist, Professor Chris Whitty, is usually in the news for his sombre assessments of how the pandemic is progressing. Flanked by Chief Scientific Officer Professor Sir Patrick Vallance and the Prime Minister, his baldy little bobbing bonce has been a glinting beacon of the brains beneath since he became a household name last March. Until now, that is, because the boffin’s got a barnet!

The list of things that ‘broke the internet’ gets longer and longer by the day, from Kim Kardashian’s Champagne bottle bottom to the Tiger King to the ship that got stuck sideways in Suez. But the reaction to yesterday’s news that Chris Whitty has had a successful hair transplant tested the phrase to breaking point.

The new ‘do’, which has been favourably compared to George Clooney’s, has drawn the attention of global news networks, not to mention congratulations from celebrity fans ranging from Bobby Davro to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

Congratulations from celebrity fans ranging from Bobby Davro to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge

The unexpected move has apparently been in the works for quite some time as Professor Whitty is part of a medical trial taking place at University College Hospital, where Whitty still works as a consultant doctor.

Heralded as a potential future treatment for male baldness, the Prof is only the seventh man in the world to receive the experimental treatment which involves participants spending prolonged periods in a sealed room with up to 12,000 bees, used as a vector to ‘pollinate’ the scalp.

A Downing Street spokesman commented “In a year with very little positive news we can at least have a giggle at Chris’s expense this April first. We’re just hoping that Sir Patrick chooses the same treatment in order to give our hirsute Prime Minister a run for his money!”

We're completely loving it and so, it turns out, is Britain...

Meanwhile, Professor Whitty has remained tight-lipped about his new look.

Known for his work ethic and always keen to protect his privacy it’s not clear if we will hear from the great man on the subject. Though he may struggle to deflect a direct question from journalists at the next Covid briefing.

Either way, we’re completely loving it and so, it turns out, is Britain. Along with the weather and positive pandemic news, it’s all that’s been keeping us going.


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