The Handbook
The Handbook

The Colin vs Cuthbert debate just got gangland. The already fierce rivalry between mobs has turned nasty, with Colin the Caterpillar finding himself face down in a deep-fat-frier.

This violent act of gangland justice is being metted out by fish’n’chip shop chain Papas, who claim to have taken Aldi’s side in the raging battle between M&S’s Colin and Aldi’s Cuthbert, and nobody likes a snitch! What’s more, their battered creations are being sold to raise money for charity, with profits going to the Teenage Cancer Trust.

The whole saga began last week when M&S decided to take Aldi to court over their Cuthbert the Caterpillar cake. M&S claimed that Aldi had ripped off their cake (‘riding its coat tails’).

Cuthbert does bear a striking resemblance to Colin, but then almost every single supermarket also produces a caterpillar cake and, in our opinion, they all look remarkably alike.

And, in our opinion, they all look remarkably alike...

Aldi, in an attempt to ameliorate the situation, suggested that they could give Cuthbert’s takings to charity, which was roundly rejected by Marks’n’Sparks.

And so, like all mobsters and gang members, everyone started crouching low and clicking their fingers as they moved left and right across the stage (this is exactly how killer gangs work, I watched a documentary (West Side something)).

Papas is a Lincolnshire and Yorkshire chippy, and the chain is selling mini deep-fried Colins for £1.49 each, with profits going to the charity.

Posting on Twitter, Papa’s went jailhouse with the hashtag SnitchersGetBattered, making clear that they were with Aldi on this one.

According to Dino, the chain’s owner, who spoke to the Grimsby Telegraph: “It’s all a bit of fun and a great way to raise money for charity.

“Like the rest of the nation, we have been gripped by the Colin and Cuthbert saga and we’ve chosen which side we are backing.

“The battered caterpillars are also absolutely delicious, so we thought why not?”

It’s yet another turn in the internecine battle between M&S and Aldi.

Only question is, why didn’t they call it a Batterpillar?


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