If the only stories you’ve been following in the last few days are Boris’s alleged parties or the ‘tidal wave’ of Omicron headed our way then you’re missing out on another major scoop. There’s no other way to explain it other than this: Peloton Killed Mr Big. And then Deadpool Brought Him Back To Life. Needless to say, there’s a lot of moving parts to this story so let’s deep-dive…

90s TV hit Sex And The City (SATC) is, for some reason, back on our screens. Clearly missing the ratings and paydays, the girls are back to over-sharing their sexploits as they knock on the door of sixty. With the exception of the only good one, Samantha, who gracefully decided to sit it out, the old team’s back together. With, as of episode one, one more casualty. Farewell Mr Big.

Look away now if you’re spoiler averse (in fact, you probably need to just navigate away from this entire article as it’s nearly all spoiling).

Look away now if you're spoiler averse...

So when you’re the world’s leading fitness tech business, like posh exercise bike-ists Peloton, then when the hottest remake on the block, SATC, get in touch to feature your product, it’s a no-brainer.

Millions of eyeballs, association with the brand and stars, it’s a hard yes.

But it appears that nobody thought to check the script. And if there’s one particular detail that the PR team over at Peloton might’ve wanted before DHLing over a shiny new bike it’s that the showmakers were planning to use it to kill off a much loved character.

It appears that nobody thought to check the script...

Episode one of SATC sees Mr Big, played by the actor Chris Noth, suffering a heart attack after an intense work-out on his Peloton.

He dies…

…As did Peloton’s share price. Within hours of the Big reveal it was clear that shareholders were exercising too, their right to sell stock.

The price tumbled faster than Noth’s BMP with Peloton Interactive shares falling by 11.3% on Thursday and a further 5.4% on Friday, a total of 16.1%.

The price tumbled faster than Noth's BMP...

So far so corporate egg-on-face. Peloton lamely attempted to make the case that actually Mr Big’s exercise bike had “helped delay” his heart attack and that his “extravagant lifestyle” had likely contributed to his death.

But nobody was buying it. Or the stock. It looked like another own goal from the company that already brought us the cringiest ad campaign of all time back in 2019.

It looked like another own goal from the company that already brought us the cringiest ad campaign of all time...

But who should step up but Deadpool actor and Blake Lively muse Ryan Reynolds!

When he’s not a Hollywood A-lister it seems that Reynolds moonlights as Chief Exec of digital marketing agency, Maximum Effort. And when Peloton came knocking Reynolds was able to swing into action, albeit without the red spandex.

Reynolds moonlights as a Chief Exec of a digital marketing agency...

And just like that, it was fixed!

Reynolds got Chris Noth and the Peloton star instructor who had ridden Mr Big to death, as it were, just days earlier, Jess King, back together for a ‘he’s not dead’ advert, with voiceover by Reynolds to boot.

The ad shows  Mr Big, looking svelte and un-morbidly inclined, he turns to Ms King and says “I feel great. Shall we take another ride? Life’s too short not to.”

Reynolds then voiceovers with the familiar SATC tagline “And just like that, the world was reminded that regular cycling stimulates and improves your heart, lungs and circulation, reducing your risk of cardiovascular diseases”.

And, in case it wasn't clear, "He's alive"...

“Cycling strengthens your heart muscles, lowers resting pulse and reduces blood fat levels.” And, in case it wasn’t clear, “He’s alive.”

The Lazarus routine seems to have worked, with the interactive workout equipment manufacturer’s share price solidly bouncing and making up nearly all the lost ground.

And all thanks to Ryan Reynolds. Indeed Blake Lively was to later post an Insta story celebrating her husband’s ability to turn the narrative around.

They're currently working on the remake of Death On The Nile... whatever they offer, say no...

Which, dear reader, is how Peloton killed Mr Big, and Deadpool brought him back to life. Chances are it’s the most memorable story to come out of the SATC reboot.

Oh, and Pelaton… they’re currently working on the remake of Death On The Nile… whatever they offer, say no.

www.onepeloton.co.uk


Want to receive more great articles like this every day: sign up here