When lockdown lifted in China the first thing many couples did after months of indoor cooping with their other halves was file for divorce. The easing of restrictions coincided with a boom for divorce lawyers, but maybe it was something else… IKEA last night announced that they’d be reopening their UK stores from Monday 1st June.

The ultimate ‘couple test’ is can you do a big IKEA shop and remain on speaking terms? The government should mandate it as a prerequisite for a marriage certificate. The combination of spending a month’s wages in one splurge, match-day like crowds, a labyrinthine one-way-system followed by a warehouse treasure hunt, a hundred yard queue to pay then trying to Tetris everything into a hatchback all combines to be one of the most trying experiences of a lifetime. I’d rather do A-Level maths. Perhaps the Wuhan divorce rate was linked to the reopening of IKEA?

Well if so, it seems that IKEA have now introduced some relationship saving measures. Standby for a new IKEA shopping experience altogether. And, shockingly, it sounds like it might actually one that will save your marriage!

Ostensibly linked to the risk from coronavirus, but we think just to keep couples from killing each other, IKEA will now be limiting the number of shoppers allowed into the store at once, and will be enforcing government social distancing guidelines. Which means that half of the stress of a visit to the Swedish superstore will instantly evaporate. Jostling for the Ribba frames will be a thing of the past. Trolley dashing for the shortest queue won’t be an issue. It sounds like heaven, with meatballs.

What’s more, after the disaster I made of actually trying to recreate the IKEA meatball recipe, it’ll be a total pleasure to enjoy the real thing once again in-store. There are few post-lockdown treats I yearn for like a plate of IKEA meatballs

19 IKEA stores will open up next week, including all the London shops. Expect queues that stretch for miles, but look forward to a non-relationship-breaking experience once in-store.

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