The Handbook
The Handbook

Paris, the city of love. And coronavirus… Late last night the government slapped quarantine measures on any tourists returning from France from this Saturday (tomorrow) at 4am, prompting tens of thousands of holiday cancellations and a Whacky Races style rush for the border from any Brits currently holidaying in the country.

Villas across Provence are being emptied out as we speak, the Dordogne is on the move, expect to see middle class Daily Mail readers trawling the beaches of Calais searching for people smugglers to dinghy them back to Kent before 4am, it’s going to be like Dunkirk but with quinoa.

The reason given by the government for taking this action is rising cases of coronavirus across France, with the nation’s closest ally and top holiday destination ending up on the Foreign Office’s naughty step along with an increasing number of other countries. France’s coronavirus cases have shot up from 1,000 a day at the start of the week, to over 2,000 a day by the end of it. While the country has implemented further measures against the virus (stepping up mask wearing outdoors, for example) it’s clearly not enough.

It's going to be like Dunkirk but with hummus...

The move will affect over 160,000 holidaymakers currently in France, who will now be forced to take a 14 day quarantine on return to the UK. Of these 20% can expect to be contacted by contract tracers to check they’re actually complying.

But it’s rubbish news for anyone planning a holiday. C’est la vie…