Reclusive royal Prince Harry has been hiding out in California keeping his head very much below the parapet in his quest for a quiet ‘normal’ life away from the media. Except for his tell-all interview with Oprah Winfrey. And his tell-all interview with James Corden. And his tell-all interview with the Armchair Expert. And the tell-all biography Finding Freedom that the Sussexes definitely didn’t help out with. Like, definitely didn’t. Okay, maybe a bit.

But clearly the Prince is frustrated by his lack of coverage so he’s now revealed to the media that he’s writing a book. Not renowned as a scholar, Harry will bring his B (art) and a D (geography) A-Levels to bear as he pens the tome with a little help on the side from a ghostwriter. It’s not yet known when Harry will have a chance to read it, but from what we know so far it has all the hallmarks of an explosive memoir.

Harry has promised that the book, to be published by Penguin Random House in late 2022, will chart ‘the highs and lows’ and, presumably stung by fact checking which revealed swathes of self delusion and inaccuracy in his Oprah interview, will be ‘accurate and wholly truthful’.

Alarm bells will be ringing at the palace...

Alarm bells will be ringing at the palace, still reeling at the Duke of Sussex’s first strafing mission when he accused them of being racists, revealed family rifts with everyone except The Queen and whined about his state-funded security being cut off when he stopped working for the state.

The Prince bravely soldiered on with the Oprah interview despite Prince Philip lying on his deathbed, so it remains to be seen what lengths he’ll go to as he writes his memoir. But on the basis of his statement, his ghostwriter is Alan Partridge.

I've worn many hats over the years, both literally and figuratively...

Perfectly channelling the Radio Norwich presenter’s patter, Harry wrote “I’m writing this not as the prince I was born but as the man I have become” adding in a line I had to actually check wasn’t Partridge “I’ve worn many hats over the years, both literally and figuratively, and my hope is that in telling my story – the highs and lows, the mistakes, the lessons learned – I can help show that no matter where we come from, we have more in common than we think.”

The relatable prince

How much Harry expects us to have in common with a prince living in a $14.7 million mansion in LA remains to be seen. But his rumoured $150 million Netflix deal and the fact that his granny’s the queen of England may put some clear water between him and you.

A company press release described the unwritten book as "intimate and heartfelt"...

Markus Dohle, of Penguin Random House, bigged up his new signing as being among “world-renowned leaders, icons, and change-makers we have been privileged to publish over the years” and a company press release described the unwritten book as “intimate and heartfelt” and “honest and moving”.

With typical diplomacy, Harry gave his family the now customary couple of hours notice before dropping the complete clanger, a move unlikely to endear him to his brother and father. According to The Sun’s source ‘Harry scrambled to contact his family only when he knew the story was coming out – just moments before it became public’.

A move which may frustrate his campaign to have his newborn daughter Lilibet christened at Windsor in front of The Queen.

Harry scrambled to contact his family...

The memoir is being ghostwritten by J.R. Moeringer, a Pulitzer Prize winner who will help the Prince tell his story. He has previously worked with tennis star Andre Agassi and Nike founder Phil Knight on their autobiographies.

The result is guaranteed to rock the royals once again and also ensures coverage for them well into next year, which their various sponsors will be relieved to hear.

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