It’s officially the sexiest day of the year, unless you’re Boris Johnson, in which case it’s March 29th. Eurgh, that’s a Y-fronted visual I didn’t prepare you for. But ol’ Bojo knows a thing or two about affairs, and I’m not just talking about foreign affairs, but affairs at work, at home and, in hotels. So if Boris were looking for a place to take his new flame, or if he’s seeing anyone behind his new flame’s back (not impossible) then he wants to find a hotel offering day stays.

It works like this: most hotel rooms are empty during the day, so of course it makes sense to rent them out during the daytime. There’s plenty of sites out there offering the service. At the time of checking (morning of 14th February) there are plenty of options at reasonable prices. Get booty calling.

The May Fair Hotel

Where there’s zebra print there’s romance. Unless you’re at the zoo, in which case there’s zebras. Don’t get confused, you’ll be asked to leave the zoo. Immediately. But the May Fair Hotel, close to Green Park, is all over with the zebra print, and the red velvet and, and, let’s just get a room. Cocktails afterwards in the May Fair Bar wouldn’t hurt either, at least not as much as what you were just up to.

St Ermin's Hotel

St Ermin’s Hotel is no stranger to mysterious affairs. It was used as offices for MI6 between the wars and continued to be a popular place for spies to meet, and if you’re a James Bond fan one can only assume… liaisons to take place. The St James’s hotel is well situated for a lunchtime visit, you can even enjoy a tea on the way out.

Where: 2 Caxton Street, Westminster, SW1H 0QW

The Hoxton, Holborn

The Hoxton Hotel in Holborn is perfectly situated for a cheeky nip out from the West End. A great place to meet anonymously, the cafe area downstairs is always teeming, the rooms in the boutique hotel are comfortable and well thought through. Indeed, should you find yourself in a position to be staring at the wallpaper, you might notice that it’s all decorated with scenes from Dickens novels.

Where: 199-206 High Holborn, Holborn, WC1V 7BD