If there’s ever a time when you’re going to notice an income disparity with your partner, it’s during a cost of living crisis. And there’s no way of sugarcoating it: talking about money in your relationship can be awkward – especially when you have quite different incomes – but that doesn’t have to be the case…
Here to help guide us through the tricky topic with confidence and some clever tools is Anna Williamson, who recently released a podcast series on ‘The Cost Of Loving‘ (in partnership with Experian) to explore ways to navigate a wage gap in your relationship.
How can I raise the topic of our ‘wage gap’ with my partner, without making it uncomfortable?
“Discussing money can be a bit awkward, but it’s key to a healthy relationship,” explains Williamson. “As always, communication is key, even when it comes to finances. Try to pick a relaxed time to talk and be open about your feelings. Start with your shared goals and values, and use ‘we’ instead of ‘you’ or ‘I’ – remember you’re a team. If your partner cares about you and how you feel (which they should) they will want to hear about your worries and financial concerns.”
Start with your shared goals and values, and use ‘we’ instead of ‘you’ or ‘I’ – remember you’re a team.
What steps can we both take to support each other’s career growth despite income differences?
“Celebrate each other’s successes, no matter the size, and be understanding when one career temporarily takes the spotlight,” Williamson says. “Remember, whether it’s your partner’s or your own career growth, it benefits the relationship. It’s important to create a supportive environment where both careers are celebrated, regardless of any wage disparities.”
Are there any practical tips for managing joint expenses when one partner earns significantly more?
“A good tip is to work out a system that feels fair to both of you. Some couples contribute proportionally based on their incomes, while others split shared costs 50/50. You could assign different expenses to each person, such as they get the bills whilst you do the food shopping.
It’s important to create a supportive environment where both careers are celebrated, regardless of any wage disparities
“You can also consider setting up a joint bank account where you both contribute a certain amount for shared costs like rent or mortgage, utilities, and food. The main thing is to agree on a method that doesn’t leave anyone feeling stretched or resentful.”
How can we maintain equality in decision-making processes when our income levels differ?
“Keep the conversation open and remember that both partners’ opinions are equally important, regardless of income,” adds Williamson. “Decisions should be made together, respecting each other’s perspective. It’s all about teamwork and playing to each other’s strengths.”
Are there any resources I can use to help manage a wage gap?
“For useful resources, you might want to check out Experian’s ‘The Cost of Loving’ podcast, which I hosted alongside some fantastic guests. It covers wage gaps in relationships and many more ‘taboo’ financial and relationship issues in the modern dating world. Plus, you can check out advice from The Money & Pensions Service or chatting with a financial planner could give you that extra bit of personalised guidance you’re looking for.”
You can hear more from Anna Williamson discussing wage gap relationships in the second episode of Experian’s ‘Cost of Loving’ podcast. The five-part podcast series is available on Spotify, Apple and all major streaming platforms now.
