The Handbook
The Handbook

Imagine if Agra closed the Taj Mahal, if New York boarded up the Statue of Liberty or if Huddersfield blocked off the main dual carriageway out of Huddersfield, you’d want to scream at them that they’re literally killing the main attraction. And yet that’s exactly what Annabel’s has just done, banning all photography of the loos in a curt directive to members yesterday.

The loos at Annabel’s are legendary. Hands down our absolute favourites. If you’ve ever been to the swanky club then you’ve almost definitely live streamed from the bathroom, and not in a ‘subscribe to my OnlyFans channel’ sort of way. The Berkeley Square icon has gone out of its way to ensure that the loos are Insta-friendly, they’re styled by Martin Brudnizki, the same guy that’s responsible for nearly every iconic restaurant and hotel interior in Britain, and there’s no shortage of loo-bling.

What’s more the club, where annual membership comes to £3,250 a year before you’ve bought a single cocktail, has actively touted the loos as an attraction, aware that they’re a major draw. When they announced a new ladies’ only a few months ago, they were opened by actual Victoria Beckham. There was a real-life launch party too! Normally you’d struggle to get Posh Spice to cut the ribbon on a children’s hospital, so it shows just how important Annabel’s loos really are.

But it’s all change at Annabel’s post-covid.

An email sent yesterday firmly made this point, “Photography and filming are no longer permitted anywhere in the Club, this now also includes the bathrooms. Images and footage of the Club, Club staff or your fellow members must not be posted on social media”.

Normally you'd struggle to get Posh Spice to cut the ribbon on a children's hospital, so it shows just how important Annabel's loos really are.

Which means Annabel’s just dropped tens (if not hundreds) of thousands of pounds revamping a loo with a 500 kilo crocodile basin crafted from a single slab of green onyx, plus a Vicky-B launch, all for nothing?

But what might seem like a PR own-goal, after all Annabel’s loos alone recorded over 575,755 Insta-likes last year alone, probably isn’t. Clearly the bosses at the club have a bigger fear than loosing loo-likes.

If you’ve ever sat and observed Annabel’s guests you’ll have noticed that these folks are going to be impossible to police when it comes to enforcing social distancing regulations. Rich grizzly older men with young starlets dangled off their arms, glam Europeople and showy influencer types, they’re are all incredibly touchy-feely. The ‘mwah mwah mwah’ set are not going to remain two metres from each other. So perhaps Annabel’s is desperate to avoid a tabloid sensation when some hapless Made In Chelsea-er posts a video of people hugging in the Brudnizki bogs?

Or maybe they’re worried that someone will notice just how few loo-stagrams are being posted and start to wonder if things are quite alright at the once centre-of-the-universe club? Usually garnering 352 loo Insta posts a month, Annabel’s lavatory pics have dwindled to just two in the last fortnight…

Let’s hope the ban achieves whatever the aim is. Call us basic AF we genuinely love the loos, they’re the most beautiful karzis in London, if not the world and we hope to hell that they reverse the ban asap. We’re gonna really miss those bathroom Instagram notifications.

www.annabels.co.uk