“I’m A Fashion Editor – Stop Making These Wedding Guest Outfit Mistakes”
As a seasoned wedding guest who conveniently works in fashion, The Handbook‘s Contributing Fashion & Lifestyle Editor, Astrid Carter, talks us through the dos and don’ts of wedding guest dressing. From the obvious “no white” rule to the lesser-known “stealth white” no-no, and why a heel never goes amiss, here are her top 10 rules for navigating wedding etiquette in style.
1. No white (obviously), but stealth white is just as bad
Obviously, anyone who wears white to another person’s wedding has some unresolved beef. But, it’s “stealth white” you need to watch out for. I’m talking very pale pastel colours that could read as white on camera or in the sun, or a white-based dress with a print over it – just don’t do it. I remember going to a good friend’s wedding, and a plus-one guest wearing a blatantly obvious white dress with a (very sparse) navy floral print on it. To say the girls’ WhatsApp group went OFF – and the bride is still talking about it seven years later. There are other colours. Just don’t.
Obviously, anyone who wears white to another person’s wedding has some unresolved beef. But, it’s ‘stealth white’ you need to watch out for.
Astrid, Contributing Fashion & Lifestyle Editor
2. Black, on the other hand, is absolutely ok
There’s the old-fashioned rule that colour is for weddings, black is for funerals, that somehow black is going to bring some sort of premeditated mourning to the nuptials. Whilst a bit of colour would be my natural lean for a wedding, black is chic. I’d much rather someone wore a gorgeous little black number to my wedding than, say, neon yellow. It’s timeless, chic, and feels formal in a good way.
3. Remember, it’s not about you
The number one rule of wedding guest dressing: it’s not about you. Obvious, yes, but weddings are exciting, and the idea of a new look can overshadow what is actually appropriate.
Think about the couple and what they would want to see on the day. If that’s something soft and romantic, put the sequins down – and it works on the flip side too – if they want it to feel like a Charli XCX-style three-day sesh, embrace the chaos.
Rewearing something you love, borrowing from a friend or renting something fabulous is far cooler (and more sustainable) than buying a dress you’ll only wear once.
4. Follow the dress code on the invite
If the invitations say “Beach Boho” or “Cocktail Glam”, run with it. Even if it’s not your usual aesthetic, making an effort is a quiet way of saying “I respect you and care about your big day.”
5. Be considerate of the type of wedding it is
Even if the couple isn’t religious, the venue and their wider families might be. It’s always a no-brainer to dress respectfully in a place of worship out of courtesy for the families and the culture. If that means covering your shoulders or opting for a slightly longer hemline for the ceremony, go for it. If you’re ever in doubt, just ask. The couple will appreciate the thoughtfulness.
It’s always a no-brainer to dress respectfully with regards to the type of wedding it is. If you’re ever in doubt, just ask. The couple will appreciate the thoughtfulness.
6. I’m going to get some heat for this one, but a heel doesn’t go amiss
I know this is a slightly ridiculous hill for me to die on, but I do like a heel at a wedding. It says you’re treating this day as a special one, special enough to slip out of your Adidas. Even if it’s a tiny stretch to a miniature kitten heel, and there are plenty of those around right now. I know heels aren’t for everyone, and we’ve all fallen victim to a sinking stiletto in a waterlogged lawn, but even if you go flat, I think it’s nice to wear a shoe that’s a little jazzy. Give the ballet flats a day off.
7. Remember, you are not in the club
Short, low-cut, backless: there is a time and a place, and that place is the hen-do, not the big day.
Short, low-cut, backless: there is a time and a place, and that place is the hen-do, not the big day.
8. Don’t buy a whole new outfit
Between the travel, the gift, the hotel, and sometimes even a long-haul flight, weddings are expensive for everyone. Save yourself the headache and the £££ and don’t feel pressured to buy something new. Rewearing something you love, borrowing from a friend or renting something fabulous is far cooler (and more sustainable) than buying a dress you’ll only wear once.
9. A note for the gents…
I’m not sure when it became ok for guys to break out the shorts as soon as the mercury hits 25°C. It’s not. The same goes for jeans or chinos with a random suit jacket. In an era where we rarely have to wear a shirt and tie, isn’t it nice to dress up a bit? And as for the no-socks-with-loafers look? It’s a hard no from me.
10. Most importantly, dress like you
Don’t sweat the outfit too much (she says, writing a guide on what/what not to wear to a wedding). Weddings are electric, beautiful events fused with love, laughter, and the people who mean the most. Wear what you feel comfortable and incredible in… and, most importantly, what you can dance in until two in the morning.
