Hospitality Shuttered And We’re Back WFHing: A Quick Guide To The Latest Clusterflip…
Sequels are never as good as the original, have you ever seen Grease 2? As we approach Lockdown Part Deux it’s clear that there’s no good news here, we’ve failed to control the virus and now you’re sat in your pyjamas working from the kitchen table again. The only exception to the sequel rule is The Godfather II, and let’s face it, the only similarity with the second lockdown is that a whole lot of people died. Guys, this is totally rubbish, but here’s the lowdown…
Having previously made the case that a second lockdown would be a ‘disaster’ and spurned advocates of an early lockdown, Boris Johnson this weekend went on the telly to tell us all that we’re starting lockdown again, and from Thursday we’re all to stay home until December 2nd. This is a total disaster, not just for everyone incarcerated in their bedrooms but to the hospitality industry who will be forced to once again close their doors except for takeaways.
I’ve got serious deja-vu, what’s happening?
We’re locking down again. The rules will be approximately the same as they were back in March. We’re not to leave our homes until December 2nd except to buy essentials, exercise, helping vulnerable relatives or medical reasons.
Classic. And what’s different?
Education. Whereas children were kept off school for five months last time, you’re not going to be forced to play amateur primary school teacher this time around because nurseries, schools and universities have been green-lit to remain open.
What about socialising?
Have you just gotten your head around rule-of-six? Yeah, forget it. You can now meet up with only one person from another household and it has to be outside.
I’ve got a table booked at *insert favourite restaurant*
Unless you’re willing to add ‘and make it to go’ then that’s not happening because, and this is particularly painful for us, hospitality is going to be closing up shop again. Which means that hotels, restaurants, bars and pubs will all be forced to close.
And shops?
Yep, and shops. And gyms. The lot. All shut.
Hang on, is furlough back, then?
Yes, resurrected on its final day in existence, furlough is available to businesses once again, with 80% of employees’ salaries covered by the government up to the cap, which is at least something of a life-line.
When does this hell end?
Unlike the last lockdown, which was pretty much indefinite, this one is time-limited and will end on 2nd December.
Didn’t Michael Gove say it could go on longer?
In a move that almost certainly saw Boris shouting at the TV, he did. But the law that parliament will vote on this Wednesday includes a ‘sunset clause’ listed as 2nd December, so it’ll end regardless (unless parliament votes again). I’m sure Mr Gove will listen to ‘experts’, though…
So what happens after?
We expect to be back to the regional approach that has served us so well (ahem) until now. Of course, we may all plunge into Tier 3, if the month-long action isn’t effective, so don’t plan a huge Christmas.
Unlike the last lockdown, which was pretty much indefinite, this one is time-limited and will end on 2nd December…
Wait, so Christmas is off too?
Well if you’re expecting to have 20 family and friends round for a sherry-fuelled blow out, I’d perhaps put your plans on ice.
Can I just go on holiday for a month?
What, are you like Philip Green or someone? But even if you could afford to jet off to the Bahamas for a month then the rules say that no, you can’t swan off . If, however, you’re currently away then there’s no need to rush back. And if you’re somewhere that has a quarantine requirement on return, then you’re laughing given the whole nation is now in quarantine!
FFS. So why is all this happening?
The reason is simply that the virus is surging. We always knew that the autumn would be tricky, but it seems that the numbers are soaring even faster than predicted and there’s the danger that the NHS will be overwhelmed unless drastic action’s taken right now.
And it’s important to note that this isn’t just a UK issue, the rest of Europe is tracking pretty much alongside the British numbers, and they’re locking down as we speak as well. Even Germany is struggling while the US is currently turbo-boosting the spread.
And dare I ask about the vaccine?
Along with mass rapid testing, which is apparently round the corner, the real way out of this whole pickle is a vaccine. And there’s actually good news here. The two front-runners, AstraZeneca and Oxford’s vaccine along with Pfizer’s vaccine both look like they’re going to be ready in the relatively near future. This weekend the UK health regulator began the process of recommending their emergency use, and the results could come in weeks.
And then we’re out of the woods?
The drug companies are churning the stuff out in vats, and the British government has pre-ordered 200 million doses. So it’ll just be a case of jabbing it into everyone’s arms…
Well that shouldn’t be a problem?
Based on the success of the first lockdown, of track-and-trace, of PPE and so on, yeah, don’t hold your breath…
