‘Breaking up is never easy’, thanks ABBA, but if you want to put an ‘Ah-ha’ into your break-up then you’ve still got options. In fact, given how much effort we make to get the first date location exactly right, then it’s only right that we should make sure that the break-up venue’s spot on. And to help you along the way we’ve chosen some of the best spots to cut the cord, from axe throwing to boats, it’s time to swipe left on your swipe right!
While you’re throwing in the towel, why not throw an axe as well? I mean, not to actually hurt them, obvs, but because it’s a great way to let out some steam post break-up. I mean, obviously assess their mental state after you’ve dropped the “it’s over” in case things do turn deadly, but if not then get axing away those negative feelings. And yes, axe throwing really is a thing!
On the Dans Le Noir website, they describe themselves as ‘more than just a restaurant,’ and they’re darn right. They’re a perfect break up destination because inside you can literally see nothing. Zilch. Nada. Lure them into thinking you’re off for a fun immersive dining experience before dropping the “it’s not you, it’s me” card. Breaking up has never been so easy because you can’t see their face and you can do a good ol’ Irish goodbye and zip out the back without them noticing.
Sometimes you just need to KNOW, right? Well now you’ve got 40 minutes for him to get his story straight, because there’s literally no way that he’s going to do a runner. Put your other half on the spot as the door seals and the pod starts to rotate and sit and watch them squirm. And if that isn’t endlessly entertaining, you can also take in the breathtaking view.
Final En-Counter: Counter Dining
People overhearing awkward conversations can be pretty unwarranted at the best of times, but break ups? Phwoar, that’s a whole different kettle of fish when you’re perched over a counter positioned so close to the chef that you can see what he had for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Yet, breakups are going to become public at some point anyway so why not just start off how you mean to go on and get those public breakup vibes a’flowin. Yes, the kitchen staff and your fellow diners will be able to hear you, and yes you might extinguish the cooker with your tears but it’s better than a boat, right?
Find all of our counter dining recommendations here
Shhh-o Long! At The Library
Let’s face it, if there’s one place you can’t curse it’s the “shhhh” library. Librarians can be pretty scary when they want to be and there’ll boot you out on your bum in no time if you so much as sneeze. This is why a library makes for the perfect place to break up with your other half because they have to keep shtum. See, we’ve got your book… sorry, back!
Perhaps one of the more awkward of the breaking up destinations… a boat. The saying “worst things happen at sea,” really does apply to this scenario as you’ll be on a boozy boat, perhaps sailing down The Thames, when the break up bomb – and most likely sea sickness – hits. Why’s it a great place to break up? Well, because you can’t escape one another unless you jump overboard so your best option is therefore good and proper, adult conversation where you’ll likely come to a mutual agreement. Ha, who are we kidding, it’ll be the most awkward trip ever!
Find our round-up of boat bars here… sea you later, babes!
If your relationship is making you feel trapped, then take it to the ultimate conclusion, with an escape room. It’s the perfect make-or-break situation, you’re locked in together and have to either work together to get out alive, or you’ll prove that you’re totally incompatible. The Official Sherlock Live Experience is a 100 minute immersive escape game, which is more than enough time to know.
If you’re the type who likes to monkey-bar from one lover to the next, then the ultimate re-bound is probably someone with wads of cash to splash on you. Yes you got dumped, but you also got a new handbag into the bargain. A posh members’ club is probably where you’re most likely to bump into Prince Charming, and if you’re lucky then maybe they’ll actually BE a prince. Your sugar daddy (or sugar mummy) awaits…
Once you’ve done the deed, it would be ideal if there was Champagne on hand, if not tap, to celebrate. Simply set to one of London’s best Champagne bars as the venue for your break-up, might we suggest The Connaught? After they’ve cleared out, order a glass or a bottle of the finest bubbly. Ideally have a friend on-hand to ‘cheers’ with, or make do with a waiter.
Of course, if this is a little premature and you’re at the other end of your relationship, here are our 101 Dating Ideas…