No, I’m not going all William Sitwell on you, these are bloody vegan burgers, as in they’re burgers, that are bloody. And vegan.

Actually we should all be vegan. No, really, we should. Not only are we all eating so much processed meat that our bodies are reacting against it to the point that we’re dying of cancer, the cows we slaughter to create our delicious killer foodstuff are killing our planet and contributing far more to global warming than Donald Trump ever could. But if only it was that easy. You try turning your back on a lifetime of juicy, mouthwatering burgers, for instance. Well on that count, fear not: there are now a whole host of places offering bleeding, bloody burgers and the big news: they’re all vegan! Like, totally vegan.

Mildred's, Dalston

Think of vegan food and you’re probably thinking of Mildred’s. Since opening in Soho they’ve spread their wings and their message, with new restaurants but in Dalston, King’s Cross and Islington. And it was their Dalston restaurant which was the first UK restaurant to offer bleeding vegan burgers on their menu.

Where: 1 Dalston Square, Dalston, E8 3GU

Halo Burger at POP Brixton

Halo Burger are launching their bleeding burger joint at Pop Brixton next month and it looks and bleeds just like a proper burger. The quarter-pounder is made of two patties which Halo claim is the first vegan burger to look, cook and taste like real beef and will be the signature dish at the new healthy fast food joint.

Where: 49 Brixton Station Road, Brixton, SW9 8PQ

Dirty Bones

Comfort food specialists Dirty Bones are New York inspired, and they call it The Big Apple, not the big rib eye, so naturally they have a plant-based burger to sit alongside their decidedly meaty menu. Their bloody burger is ‘a veganized version’ of their Mac Daddy burger, which is basically a burger cross-bred with mac’n’cheese.

Where: 20 Kensington Church Street, London, W8 4EP, United Kingdom
Nearest station: High Street Kensington (0.2 miles)

Maxwells, Covent Garden

Maxwells already serve some of the best freakshakes in town, and now this Covent Garden mainstay has taken the absolute opposite health tack, by introducing their bleeding vegan burger.

Where: 34 King Street, Covent Garden, WC2E 8JD

Old Compton Brasserie

If you thought that a brasserie was a piece of underwear, then you probably shouldn’t be reading an online food and drink magazine. But Old Compton Brasserie (neat segue there, one of our worst) have been keeping something else under wraps, their bloody vegan burger. A combination of soy and wheat for binding the ingredients, beetroot juice to give the appearance of blood, coconut oil for that added greasiness, the burger is a meatlover’s dream,  but without meat.

Where: 34–36 Old Compton Street, Soho W1D 4TT

Honest Burger, King's Cross

What could be more honest than a burger that pretends to be meat while actually being 100% plant? Well we’ll brush over that and instead celebrate Honest Burger’s vegan burger. Road-tested at the King’s Cross restaurant the plant burger was such a success that they’ve rolled it out across all their restaurants. It comes served with vegan smoked Gouda, Rubies in the Rubble Chipotle ‘mayo’, mustard, red onion, pickles, lettuce.

Where: 251 Pentonville Road, King's Cross, N1 9NG