“I Booked Into London’s Most Chaotic Dinner & I’m Still Recovering”

The music’s pounding, light cuts through the smoky haze, and you’ve lost track of how many drinks you’ve had. The energy is electric, and you can’t stop laughing at the scene unfolding around you. Except this isn’t a nightclub, or even a bar. It’s one of London’s newest and most irreverent fine dining spots: Punk Royale.

What sets it apart

It’s not often a fine-dining experience is described as ‘fun’. Incredible, delicious, amazing, fancy – sure. But fun? Not so much. This is exactly what sets Punk Royale apart in the London food scene. Originating in Stockholm in 2015, the eccentric chain has since expanded to Oslo, Copenhagen, and, most recently, the English capital, where our story begins.

Our experience

On arriving outside what looks like a tacky club door – albeit on a Mayfair backstreet – you stand there questioning if this is, in fact, the right place. Sure enough, the logo out front provides some reassurance. As soon as you walk inside, you’re met with an explosion of colour, light, and hosts who make you feel like chosen guests at a cool friend’s house party. Our host, Archie, is full of energy and greets us like old friends.

The space is decorated with pop-art-style artwork alongside photos affixed to the wall with neon construction tape, and a giant disco ball suspended directly above the chef’s counter. As soon as you drop your bag and coat, you’re walked straight to the front of the open kitchen, where you’re welcomed by the Head Chef, Emil, who talks you through what to expect, before asking you to hold your hand out. A giant bump of caviar is precariously balanced on your hand, served with a chaser of smooth vodka served out of a gasoline can (adorned with a faux ‘4 Michelin Star’ sticker, no less). This experience perfectly sums up what the night had in store – top quality cuisine and an irreverent serving style.

This experience perfectly sums up what the night had in store – top quality cuisine, charismatic staff, and an irreverent serving style.

Given the sheer number of courses to get through in a couple of hours, the whole meal has real pace. Linger too long on a single dish, and your next one is queued up and ready to go. If you want a relaxing meal, this isn’t it, but if you lean into the momentum and liveliness, you’ll find it creates something of a culinary whirlwind.

From water served out of Absolut Vodka bottles to courses being literally spoon-fed to you by the Head Chef, Punk Royale oozes anti-establishment pizzaz while executing incredibly technical (and delicious) dishes. And, while your hosts might present as informal and charismatic, they’re clearly brilliantly trained. Your water is topped up with impressive attentiveness throughout the meal (a subtle but notable quality of a top restaurant) and, when my napkin slipped off my lap, Archie had a clean one ready to go before I could even pick the old one up. They’re cool, but they’re also pros.

From water served out of Absolut Vodka bottles to courses being literally spoon-fed to you by the Head Chef, Punk Royale oozes anti-establishment pizzaz while executing incredibly technical (and delicious) dishes.

The twist

After the first course is served, a safety deposit box is placed on your table, where you’re asked to place your phone. For an experience that is incredibly lively and Instagrammable, I found this refreshing. During fine dining experiences, many guests (myself included) can spend a large part of their booking trying to capture the moment, whereas, in reality, the best thing you can do is live in the moment. Of course, given I was reviewing this spot, I had to have some way of recording the experience, so I swapped my trusty phone for a pen and notepad – very old school.