If you’re looking for golf that’s crazier than an ex with a restraining order, look no further. London is awash with crazy golf courses; we’ve more golf craziness going on than Tiger Woods on bender. So The Handbook has donned plus-fours and one of those ridiculous tartan caps and headed straight for the tees. And upon discovering they didn’t serve teas, ordered a round of your strongest cocktails and started the crazy golf party early. Here are some of our favourite crazy golf courses.
Swingers might sound like a promiscuous group meet up session, but keep your car keys firmly in your pocket because this one’s crazy golf only. Grab yourself some sex on the green (it’s a shot), and boozily make your way round the 18-holes. Like a pre-order menu when you’re on a budget, there are two courses, one centring around a lighthouse and the other a windmill
Double trouble; Swingers have two crazy golf venues, The City at 8 Brown’s Buildings, and West End, at 15 John Prince’s Street.
Where: 8 Brown’s Buildings, Aldgate, EC3A 8AL
Coined the world’s first social entertainment concept, Puttshack has scored that hole-in-one when it comes to using patented technology to take crazy golf up a gear across their 4 courses, with 9 holes at each. With automatic point scoring, leader-boards, and intuitive gameplay falling under the umbrella of Trackaball technology, the absolutely stir-crazy concept comes from the brains behind Top Golf.
Where: Westfield London, London, UK
Nearest station: Shepherds Bush (0.2 miles)
A little birdie told me about this place situated at Roof East. Yep, that’s right Birdie’s Crazy Golf Club boasts an array of patience-testing holes in an array of bold and beautiful colours. However, be warned: it’s tricky nature makes it the kind of place where you’ll be cheating on the old score-card before you know it. I’ve personally never done such a thing…
Where: Roof East Floors 7 & 8, Stratford Multi Storey Car Park Great Eastern Way, E15 1XE
Junkyard Golf looks more like the scene post-paintballing gone wrong. You know the one? Where you lose totally and utter control of your gun. Yep, it definitely doesn’t ring out crazy golf course, but that it is, and an amazing one too. Junkyard Golf can be found in Oxford, Leeds and Manchester alongside London, filled with weird and whacky cocktails and all things junk, as specified on their website. Whilst we’re not too sure what the latter means, we do know that the 9-hole course is brimming with bizarre holes, UV garage, scrapyard slides, circus freaks and jungle bathtubs.
Where: Dray Walk, Old Truman Brewery, 91 Brick Lane, E1 6QL
Hello you bunch of plonkers! You’ll be pleased to know that you can plonk yourself down at a range of courses, in Hackney, Battersea, Peckham Levels, Camden, Islington and more. Founded by a troop of set designers from the film industry, Plonk Golf popped their courses in a series of pubs across the city, and you went wild for it. The first course opened up in 2014 in Haggerston, built from 100% up-cycled materials rescued from the streets of Hackney. And, with sustainability at the helm, they then went to set up a range of glow-in-the-dark venues for your whacking, putting and swiping pleasure.
Where: The Four Thieves Pub 51 Lavender Gardens, SW11 1DJ
Mr Mulligan might sound like the geography teacher you didn’t quite see eye-t0-eye with, but actually this Mr Mulligan is a lot more fun. With various adventure venues spread across the UK, crazy golf courses consist of lost world, space and pirate golf, with a dino golf in Sidcup.
Where: A20 Sidcup Bypass, Chislehurst, Bromley, BR7 6RP
I definitely wouldn’t want to get lost in this jungle, or any jungle for that matter. However, it does look like a super cool crazy golf course, featuring Aztec temples, hidden tombs, crashing waterfalls, lost islands, hissing snakes, spitting spiders and much more! The perfect family day out – until your dad beats you and tempers are high all the way home.
Where: Lost Jungle London
, HA8 8DD
That car stuck on a bridge is clearly owned by someone who was one putt off winning… aka me, whenever I play golf. However, if you like these quirky golf-course additions, then get yourself down to CrazyPutt for some serious adventure, off-piste style golfing. The Greenwich course features 18-holes, and is the perfect place to enjoy a glass of vino to celebrate your win…or loss, either way. Wine.
Where: Greenwich Peninsula Golf Range, Tunnel Avenue, Greenwich Peninsula, SE10 0QE
Putting the putt into Putney, Putt In The Park is the perfect way to spend a summer’s afternoon, creme tea in one hand, putter in the other. Set by the river in the glorious surroundings of Wandsworth Park (okay, that’s overselling it, it’s a green patch between Wandsworth and Putney), this is a gem of a course, well laid out and not lacking in tricky hazards and fun.
Where: Wandsworth Park, Putney Bridge Road, Putney, SW18 1PP