The Handbook
The Handbook

There are plenty of instances where you don’t want to apply the ‘crazy’ epithet; describing your brain surgeon, for instance, or the captain of your trans-Atlantic flight. Or your prime minister. Oh. But when it comes to golf, give me crazy over 18 holes at the Royal and Ancient any day.

In a coronavirus world, what could be a better way to see friends and remain socially distanced than a round of crazy golf? The ‘sport’ lends itself neatly to the current situation. Here are some of London’s finest…

Birdies Crazy Golf

A little birdie tells me that not only is Roof East open again, but that so is Birdies, the nine hole crazy golf course.

Bold colours and ‘patience-testing’ holes aside, you’ve also got all the fun and games of Roof East to enjoy, like burgers from Cheeky Burger and pizza from East Side Pizza, or rooftop games.

Where: Roof East Floors 7 & 8, Stratford Multi Storey Car Park Great Eastern Way, E15 1XE
Website: www.roofeast.com

Junkyard Golf

‘Get weird or go home’ is the tagline at Junkyard Golf, and the scene may be reminiscent of a neon nightmare but the experience is full-on fun.

Enjoy ‘weird and whacky cocktails and all things junk’ as well as a 9-hole course is brimming with the bizarre, from circus freaks to jungle bathtubs.

Where: Dray Walk, Old Truman Brewery, 91 Brick Lane, E1 6QL
Website: www.junkyardgolfclub.co.uk

Mr Mulligan

Mr Mulligan might sound like the geography teacher you didn’t quite see eye-t0-eye with, but he probably didn’t have dinosaurs. Unlike his namesake crazy golf course.

Well worth the journey to Sidcup, Mr Mulligan is a dinosaur strewn world of adventure and crazy golfing. Like Jurassic Park, but without the constant danger of death…

Where: A20 Sidcup Bypass, Chislehurst, Bromley, BR7 6RP
Website: www.mrmulligan.com

Lost Jungle

The members over at Wentworth must be seriously grumpy they didn’t think of this, imagine golf but in a world of Aztec temples, hidden tombs, crashing waterfalls, lost islands, hissing snakes, spitting spiders ‘and much more’!

The North London adventure golf experience simply screams ‘family day out’.

Where: Lost Jungle London
 Adventure Golf
 Watford By-Pass
 Edgware
, HA8 8DD
Website: www.lostjunglelondon.co.uk

CrazyPutt Adventure Golf

That car stuck on a bridge isn’t a SatNav fail but a feature in this quirky course.

The Greenwich crazy golf, tagged onto the side of a driving range, includes innovative additions like pulley-operated rafts and takes inspiration from famous courses from around the world.

Where: Greenwich Peninsula Golf Range, Tunnel Avenue, Greenwich Peninsula, SE10 0QE
Website: www.crazyputtadventuregolf.com

Putt In The Park

Putting the ‘put’ into Putney, Putt In The Park is the perfect way to spend a summer’s afternoon, creme tea in one hand, putter in the other.

Set by the river in the glorious surroundings of Wandsworth Park (okay, that’s overselling it, it’s a green patch between Wandsworth and Putney), this is a gem of a course, well laid out and not lacking in tricky hazards and fun.

Plonk Golf

You’d be a plonker to miss out on Plonk Golf. The new course in London Fields, Hackney, brought the expertise of film industry set designers to create this 9-holer.

It’s also got a cocktail bar, arcade and pinball parlour not to mention an ice cream shack. Perfect for any Hackney plonkers looking for fun!

Where: The Four Thieves Pub 51 Lavender Gardens, SW11 1DJ
Website: www.plonkgolf.co.uk

Puttshack

Puttshack combines technology and crazy golfing to create an experience that’s approximately a million miles from the tired seaside cliche that’s probably in your mind when you hear the words ‘crazy golf’.

The patented tech automatically scores your points, creates leaderboards and brings microchips to an industry that has hitherto been stubbornly analogue.

 

Where: Westfield London, Shepherd’s Bush, UK
Website: www.puttshack.com

Swingers

Swingers might sound like a promiscuous group meet up session, but keep your car keys firmly in your pocket because this one’s only crazy for golf.

Grab yourself a Sex On The Green (it’s a shot), and merrily make your way round the 18-holes, before crashing into a meal from Patty & Bun, Breddos or Pizza Pilgrims.

Where: 8 Brown’s Buildings, Aldgate, EC3A 8AL or 15 John Prince’s Street, West End, W1G 0AB
Website: www.swingerldn.com