When you’re tying the knot, there are plenty of questions you’ll be asked. From ‘When’s the big day?’ and ‘Where’s the ceremony?’ to, ultimately, ‘Do you take this man/woman to be your lawfully-wedded husband/wife?’ It can feel like there’s an overwhelming amount of decision-making to be made. But one of the biggest things you’ll need to ask yourself is: ‘Should I take my partner’s last name?’

As for the answer? Well, it’s a deeply personal decision so only you know what feels right for you. Here, two friends who made different choices share their reasons, along with how they feel about it years later.

“I changed my last name” – Robyn Upton, Managing Director

“I grew up determined that, no matter what, I would retain my surname. ‘Seymour’ felt historically British and both my father and uncle produced only daughters, so it felt sad to me that our line would effectively die out. Why shouldn’t a woman keep her name? Down with the traditionalists. 

And yet, when it came to meeting the one, the concept of changing my surname suddenly became a no-brainer. I subscribed wholly to the concept of unity – in marriage and name. I wanted to tribe with my husband, make a family of our own, and create our own little clan. Separate surnames seemed completely at odds with the life we were starting together.

I flirted briefly with a double barrel, but in reality, it wasn’t for me, because where does it end? Who goes first? Should my husband do it too? How on earth should I handle email addresses? There are too many variables. 

I’m also quite a pragmatist and I realised that the average human really couldn’t care two hoots about my surname choice. I have no public profile or brand identity to maintain. Although that being said, who even remembers VB’s maiden name? A unified ‘brand Beckham’ for the franchise win.

Who goes first? Should my husband do it too? How on earth should I handle email addresses? There are too many variables. 

Plus, the actual event of changing my name was pretty underwhelming in reality: submit an AP1 form, update bank/passport/driving license, and send an email to my professional network – who all cooed and ahh’d, updated their address books – and then promptly forgot all about it and got on with their lives. As did I. Debate over.”

“I kept my last name” – Ashling McCloy, Contributing Style & Interiors Editor

“Let me start by saying, I love a tradition. I’m here for the weddings, family gatherings and Christmas get-togethers. But I also love my name. The name I grew up with; the name I forged a career under. So why, when a lovely boy comes along, would I throw it away? Ok, that sounds flippant. There’s so much more to it than a whimsical meet cute, but that’s genuinely how I felt. I know many feel differently, and that’s ok, too. 

“For years I had been Ashling McCloy. I had worked hard under that title; hours of work experience, overtime, even coffee making. And, as a writer, little will compare to getting your first byline. It was like I’d found my place in life. Seeing those letters run along the spine of the magazine was a buzz no beer would ever give. I was already picturing my first novel on the bookshelves. 

I had worked hard under that title; hours of work experience, overtime, even coffee making. And, as a writer, little will compare to getting your first byline.

Marriage beat the novel (it’s yet to come!). I met a guy, ironically through an article I was writing at the time. Our first date was even featured on the pages of a magazine – more! Magazine, if you’re wondering – which only made my decision to keep my surname all the more poignant. I fell for this man and would walk the earth for him; have kids, build a home and a life full of crazy ups and downs. But my identity? That’s mine. In the words of his favourite musical (don’t laugh), This Is Me. “

Renewing Their Vows Together

Did we mention that Robyn and Ashling are also good friends? Here they are renewing their vows together in Vegas:

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