The Handbook
The Handbook

It’s Brexit Baby! Here’s Where To Celebrate And Commiserate…

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OPTION 1: It’s here, folks, the day you’ve all been impatiently waiting for since 2016. We’re GETTING BREXIT DONE! Wooooohooooo! Having fought so hard for Britain to finally depart the European Union and set sail in new exciting directions (TBC), we’ve certainly earned the right to celebrate, so here are some great restaurant suggestions for Brexiteers and Remoaners to enjoy this 31st January…

OPTION 2: It’s here, folks, the day you’ve all been dreading since 2016, the moment Britain plunges out of the most successful multi-lateral organisation in history, pursuing the fantasy of independent trade deals and going back to the 1950s. Of course you’ll want to commiserate, so here are some great restaurant suggestions for Brexit nutters and loyal Remainers to enjoy this 31st January…

Four Hundred Rabbits (One for the Remainers)

At even the hint of a national celebration we are inundated with emails from PR teams desperate to get their clients coverage. We’ve already received press releases about next Christmas and currently my mailbox is crammed with Valentines’ events and Veganuary nonsense. But I’ve had more emails about National Cornchip Day promotions (it’s today, happy Cornchip Day, you’re welcomey) than I’ve received about Brexit related celebrations or events.

The outlier, here, is pizza specialists Four Hundred Rabbits, who’ve been on to tell us all about how the restaurant has decided to mark Britain’s departure with a special ‘Celebration of Europe’ menu. Featuring highlights like The Cheesy One, including EU cheeses like Cashel Blue (Ireland), Manchego (Spain), Mozzarella (Italy), Montgomery Cheddar (UK (sad face)), Creme Fraiche and Chives, any self-respecting Remainer will be chugging down this cheesy creation faster than Gina Miller can launch a lawsuit.

Where: 30-32 Westow Street, Upper Norwood, SE19 3AH

Boisdale (One for the Brexiteers)

Boisdale may be Scottish and so, according to Nicola Sturgeon, fiercely pro-Remain to the point where the river Seine runs through a Scotsman’s veins and lederhosen are as dear to his heart as the Haggis that’s made out of it. But Boisdale, the London restaurant famous for its red meat and fine wine is also favourite of the Brexit elite. Indeed, Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage shared one of their rare in-the-same-photo moments in November 2018. Boris was there with his ecowarrior father Stanley and ‘Nige’ was presumably there to sample the fine French wines. Set in Belgravia, the heart of the British establishment, it’s a Brexit go-to.

Where: 15 Eccleston Street, Belgravia, SW1W 9LX

Claude Bosi At Bibendum (One for the Remainers)

Claude Bosi at Bibendum has recently leap-frogged from zero to two Michelin stars, making him one of the most desirable chefs in the country. Unless you’re the Home Office. The Frenchman, who has lived in London for 23 years, took to Twitter this week to announce that he’s been refused the right to remain in the country after Brexit. The result of a muddle between the chef and the government (he absolutely does have the right to remain but filled out the wrong form), Bosi could do with some sympathetic guests as we head into a post-Brexit world, ideally immigration lawyers…

Where: Michelin House, 81 Fulham Road, Chelsea, SW3 6RD

Wetherspoons (One for the Brexiteers)

‘Spoons may not be your idea of salubrious, but perhaps that’s mainly because you’re a metropolitan elitist snob? Or perhaps it’s because you don’t 100% trust a £3.50 plate of sausage, chips and beans. Either way, you’ll be surprisingly impressed by the scale of Hamilton Hall, the ornate boozer by Liverpool Station, and where better to celebrate than in the chain owned by strident Brexit advocate Tim Martin. The cheap pints will help too.

Where: Hamilton Hall, Liverpool Street, The City, EC2M 7PY

Westminster Kitchen (One for the Remainers)

Anti-Brexit campaigner Ibrahim Dogus sparked the ire of pro-Brexiteers when he started printing pro-immigration, anti-Brexit messages at the bottom of receipts at his restaurant Westminster Kitchen. The restauranteur, who stood (and nearly won) as a Labour candidate at the last election, is also the mayor of Lambeth and owns three local restaurants. Why not commiserate Brexit in the good company of Ibrahim and his dedicated staff.

Where: Unit 3A, County Hall, Belvedere Road, Lambeth, SE1 7GP

Poppies (One for the Brexiteers)

Poppies, the posh fish and chip shop chain have never, to our knowledge, stated a view either way on Brexit (before we’re on the receiving end of a complaint from the Shoreditch chippy), but given Brexit will give Britain’s fishing fleets free-reign over our waters once again, we should presumably expect a golden age in fishing, meaning better/batter quality at the chip shop! What could be a more British tribute to Brexit than raising a pot of curry sauce and a chip or two?

Where: 55-59 Old Compton Street, Soho, W1D 6HW