“How I Swapped ‘Table-For-One’ Anxiety For The Most Empowering Wellness Ritual”
Valentine’s Day usually turns February into a month-long celebration of romantic love, punctuated by grand gestures, date nights and bouquets of red roses. But there is a vital connection that is often overlooked – the one we have with ourselves. Whether you are in a long-term relationship or in the Galentine’s camp, I intend to make a case for the solo date being a self-care ritual everyone should embrace.
I’ll admit that when I first moved to London, the concept of “dating myself” felt extremely daunting. In a city fuelled by connection, where everyone seems to be perpetually making plans, the thought of sitting in the cinema or theatre alone made my stomach churn. Even the idea of attending a pilates class without one of my girlfriends in tow was enough to throw me off the scent entirely. However, a new exhibition opening and a touch of exposure therapy saw me embrace the art of doing it alone, and with that, embark on a journey of growth and self-discovery.
A new gallery opening and a touch of exposure therapy saw me embrace the art of doing it alone, and with that, embark on a journey of growth and self-discovery.
Amelia, Culture & Lifestyle Writer/Creator
The rise of the solo date
Taking yourself on a solo date can be a daunting affair. But once mastered, it can quickly become an essential wellness ritual. In a world that demands constant social connection, leaning into your own company is an invaluable tool. I’ve found that a solo walk or a quiet coffee often provides the mental space to solve lingering problems or untangle thoughts that have been weighing on my mind.
It appears that I am not the only one who shares this sentiment, but rather, solo dating has become quite the online phenomenon. The #solodate hashtag on TikTok has ballooned into a massive lifestyle pillar, currently sitting at over 4.2 billion views globally. Once shrouded in shame and embarrassment, solo dating has now morphed into a trend of sorts, with billions jumping on the bandwagon.
While it is difficult to pinpoint the reason for this sudden shift, I couldn’t be more in favour of it. Put simply, there is also a profound liberation in realising you don’t need a plus-one to have a day well spent. Where I once would have scrapped a plan if no one was free, I now have the confidence to show up solo and have a brilliant time.
The three-step roadmap for solo date success
The transition from stomach-churning anxiety to seasoned solo-dater is less about a sudden burst of confidence and more about strategic desensitisation. These three tips will help your entrance into the world of solo dating feel more like a soft launch than a baptism by fire.
1. The low-stakes entry point
When entering the world of solo-dating, there is no need to throw yourself into the deep end with a table for one or a solo weekend away. I would instead recommend a visit to a cinema or gallery, where being alone is typically the default. While a cinema trip may feel daunting to begin with, the discomfort fades the moment the lights dim. Once the initial chatter has died down, everyone’s focus switches entirely to the screen. It is darkly lit, no one talks, and you can enjoy two hours of uninterrupted “me time.”
Visiting a gallery can have a similar effect. Like the cinema, you can take comfort in those around you’s attention being directed elsewhere. This environment invites you to quietly move at your own pace, entirely free from the obligation to perform or make small talk.
2. The “prop” strategy
If you are feeling self-conscious or overly exposed, a prop is a great way to combat any initial awkwardness. I personally subscribe to the belief that few things provide greater comfort than a book. If you plan on visiting a coffee shop, bringing something to read or a journal to write in will both help keep you preoccupied so you don’t feel as if you are simply sitting awkwardly, and also provide a welcome break from reality. After all, is there any greater feeling than getting lost in a book?
Headphones can also help to ease the awkwardness. By listening to a podcast or playlist, you can tap into that main character energy and can make a solo walk or coffee trip feel like a deliberate choice rather than a lonely accident.
3. Reframe the narrative
Perhaps my most important piece of advice is to reframe the narrative with a quick reality check. While you may feel like all eyes are on you, the truth is that most people are far too wrapped up in their own lives to give a stranger a second thought.
I would also challenge you to flip the script and ask how you react when you see someone enjoying their own company. When you spot someone eating alone in a cafe, do you pity them? Or do you admire their independence and even find yourself envying their 20 minutes of peace?
My favourite solo date spots
I am of the belief that there is no better place to master the solo date than London. Between its relentless stream of new openings, its calendar packed with events, and cobbled streets where each corner promises the discovery of something new, the city is designed to be explored. Here is my hit list of the best city spots to visit for those days when the best company is your own.
Roam the halls of The National Portrait Gallery
One of London’s greatest perks is its surplus of free galleries and museums. From The Tate to the V&A, gallery hopping makes for the perfect solo date activity – especially if you are adhering to the three-step roadmap. However, the National Portrait Gallery takes the cake as my personal favourite. Spanning five floors, it showcases thousands of portraits through an array of mediums spanning paintings, sculptures, photographs and beyond.
These portraits depict British royalty and literary greats like Queen Elizabeth II and William Shakespeare, as well as modern-day icons like Adele, Amy Winehouse, and Anna Wintour.
Where: St. Martin’s Pl, London WC2H 0HE
Website: www.thenationalportraitgallery.com
Escape the city for an afternoon
For me, a solo date now means much more than simply proving to myself that I can “do it alone,” but rather, it has become a form of self-care ritual, which I often crave at the end of a busy week. And in the business of mental wellness, few things remedy a stressful work week better than a walk in the countryside. Chiswick House and Gardens offers that slice of countryside in abundacne while still being just a short train ride away from the city centre. I’d implore you to grab a good book and spend an afternoon curled up on a bench within the house’s stunning grounds. Chiswick’s high street also has a lot to offer, with independent coffee houses, charity shops and regular weekend markets to keep you more than preoccupied.
Where: Burlington Ln, Chiswick, London W4 2RP
Website: www.chiswickhouse.com
Visit an independent cinema
London is brimming with independent cinemas which offer unique and luxurious viewing experiences. When embarking on a solo date, I’d always encourage treating yourself a little, and opting for a slightly fancier cinema experience is always a good idea.
For my central pick, I would recommend the BFI at The Southbank. Beyond its four impressive screens, it is also home to one of my most-frequented bars in the city, so if you are feeling brave and want to truly capture the essence of the solo date, you can begin your day with a pre-cinema tipple. Another spot worth paying a visit to is Electric in Notting Hill, famed for being one of the oldest cinemas in Britain.
With award season upon us and a host of new releases to get excited about, now is the perfect time to book a solo cinema trip at one of these spots.
Where: Belvedere Rd, London SE1 8XT / 191 Portobello Rd, London W11 2ED
Website: www.bfisouthbank.com / www.electric.com
Take yourself on a wellness retreat
Solo dating also presents a great opportunity to try something new. London’s latest craze has seen sauna cold plunge locations pop-up through out the city, and they make for the perfect solo date activity. The beauty of the sauna is that there truly is no obligation to speak, and with many locations sign-posting “chatty” and “silent” rooms, you can unwind on your own in complete peace. While my personal favourite sauna cold plunge spots are Lowlu’s Wandsworth branch and Rooftop Sauna’s Hackney location, more and more venues are appearing across the city. The experience promises an hour of R&R while your body and mind reap all the benefits of the sauna and cold plunge baths.
Where: 2 Armoury Way, London SW18 1SH / Netil Corner, 2 Bocking Street, London, E8 4RU
Website: www.lowlu.com / www.rooftopsaunas.com
Indulge in a spot of retail therapy
If anything, a solo date can be a great excuse for some undisturbed retail therapy. One of my favourite streets to spend an afternoon of window shopping is The King’s Road, Chelsea. From homeware shopping at Anthropologie and Addison Ross, to trying on pieces at Rixo, ME&EM and COS, this strip of shops truly is the gift that keeps on giving.
I would also recommend rounding off your visit with a trip to John Sandoe Books. This independent bookshop is crammed with thousands of fiction, non-fiction and classic titles, and makes for a great final pitstop to round off your visit. If the weather permits, I would suggest picking up a book and sitting on the green in front of the Saatchi Gallery – preferably with a coffee also in hand.
Postal code: SW3, SW6, SW10
Make this the year you date yourself
Solo dating is a wellness act that pays dividends in confidence, personal growth and clarity. It’s a soft launch into a more independent, self-assured version of yourself. Beyond this, it also welcomes a sense of reward when you conquer doing something that originally feels daunting and outside of your comfort zone.
London also provides the perfect place to date yourself, from browsing new exhibitions to trying out the latest wellness trends; it’s a city that welcomes and even encourages doing things solo. So, the next time you’re tempted to cancel plans because no one else is free, I’d encourage you to reconsider. Instead, put on your favourite coat, head to that gallery, cinema or coffee shop, and spend a day revelling in your own company.
