Everything Is A Soup, Salad, Or Sandwich

This one might really upset some people. I know this because I’ve argued this case since I was a teenager. Not only has it ruffled feathers, but it’s led to cold shoulders and temporary silent treatments from some of my closest comrades. This is no dull knife, my friends, this is the ultimate food and drink hot take… are you ready for it?

The hot take

Everything is a soup, salad or sandwich.

The rule

Now, there are parameters to this, so I suppose not everything, so to speak. Everything, in this case, means all dishes that have two or more ingredients. So, for example, a steak does not fit into this argument. A steak with chimichurri? Sweetheart, that’s a salad.

You can only sub in to this game of prodding with an open mind and a kind heart; otherwise, things can get messy, stressful, even violent. This is no soft pub game; if you hold this stance, you hold it firm and strong, you cannot get off the hill, else the whole foundation crumbles to the ground.

Let us put this into action. I’ll teach you what I’ve learned after I’ve absorbed all the arrows shot at me for the argument at this point.

So, for example, a steak does not fit into this argument. A steak with chimichurri? Sweetheart, that’s a salad.
Mallory, Junior Food & Drink Editor

Soups

The soup category is quite straightforward. Obviously, you have your traditional soups: broths, ramens, bisques, blitzes, chowders, purees and gazpachos, among other things. But if you open your mind, expand your horizons, then anything with a decent ratio of sauce or liquid to solids is, in fact, a soup.

There’s your curries, your chillis, your smoothies, and, wait for it, your chocolate mousses, cereals, and yoghurts. There are thick soups, watery soups, chunky soups and smooth, plus the entire rainbow of condiments and dips.

Salads

Salads are arguably the easiest scapegoats in this game of poke the bear. Salads are a jumble of things. Obviously, we have our caesars, our cobbs and greens, our greeks and wedges. We know them, we love them, the humble salad is our friend. That said, standing alongside the standard salad, there are outliers.

What else might be a salad, you say? Good question. Noodles, rice, and grains. Trail mix and granola. Pastas and stir fries, scrambled eggs and roasties.

The average dinner plate? A protein, a green, and a carb? Yes, a deconstructed salad.

Those are the easy answers, but you must be prepared to weaponise the salad. Perhaps someone says, “Well, what are pancakes then? Cakes and baked goods?” Ah, yes, a cooked salad. Stay sharp.

Read a list of my top salads in London

Sandwiches

The sandwich, arguably the most divisive of the categories, is probably the most loved and the most faithful of the three. There is an age-old debate: is a hot dog a sandwich? The short answer is yes, alongside jacket potatoes, pizzas, burritos and quiches. How could that be, you say? Simple. Any dish that relies on the vessel of a carb, or a vessel in general, is a sandwich.

A sandwich, simply defined, is a dish consisting of fillings placed between or within bread. That is the conventional definition, but in an age of gluten-free eaters and trendy East London go-against-the-grainers, perhaps a sandwich can run off into the sunset in the form of a ravioli, which happens to be a sealed sandwich.

Read a list of my top sandwich shops in London

Verdict

It’s quite the fun prompt, and if held in jest, can lead to one of the more amusing debates sparked across the dinner table, forks flying as explosions erupt in the distance. But, I must remind you, standing by this take is no easy task. It’s had me in a chokehold for years, and it’s still quite the sensitive subject for some of my loved ones. Given the battles I’ve fought for it, please, if you adopt it, stay quick with your wit, never back down… never give up.

It’s quite the fun prompt, and if held in jest, can lead to one of the more amusing debates sparked across the dinner table, forks flying as explosions erupt in the distance.