It’s an English staple, the epitome of home cooking, a sensation of gravy, meat, roast potatoes, stuffing. All that stuff. What it isn’t, is a pizza. But Pizza Hut have just launched a new pizza that somehow Venns the unVennable. Behold, an unholy chimera of a pizza.

I’ll level with you, I do not frequent Pizza Hut. Beyond a spate of 7-year-old birthday parties, I ceased to be a regular customer. Even the draw of bottomless pizza has not been enough to bring me back into its orbit. Until now. Because this abomination raises a lot of questions…

How it started...

Like, er, how? So instead of tomato sauce they’ve gone with that all-too-common substitute: red-wine gravy. Sloshing around in the gravy, presumably as the base slowly gets soggy and spills across your plate, you’ll find roast beef, onion and sage stuffing, thinly-sliced roast spuds and red onions.

Pizza is meant to be 'just-a like-a mamma used to make it'. But surely this is taking things too far...

To be fair, my childhood is peppered with memories of my mother’s delicious Sunday roasts. And pizza is meant to be ‘just-a like-a mamma used to make it’. But surely this is taking things too far?

It’s hard to imagine the board room scene where this decision was taken. Unless the Pizza Hut boardroom is more of a bar, and surely this was a drunken joke between executives that went waaaay too far.

Surely this was a drunken joke between executives that went waaaay too far...

The pizza sits on the fast food chain’s new staycation menu. Which aims to bring a “taste of the Meditteranean” to British palates. While it seems to have fallen flat on its face on this count, Pizza Hut have jumped back up, dusted themselves off and then tried their hand at a Spanish-inspired pizza. This time, not doused in sangria, they’ve gone with¬†paprika chicken and smoky chorizo. I suspect the Spanish will be equally aggrieved.

But hey, anything that gets people back into restaurants! And if roast dinner pizza is what it takes, then that’s alright by us.

www.pizzahut.co.uk

...how it's going

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