Our Punniest Headlines Of 2018

By Phil Clarke |
31st December 2018

They say that sarcasm’s the lowest form of wit. They’re wrong, it’s got to be the pun. And yet, here at The Handbook, we’ve spent 2018 elevating it to, if not art, then at least half decent graffiti.

We’ve deployed more punny headlines in 2018 than in the last ten years of The Handbook, and they range from the sublime to the ghastly, so without further ado, here are some of our favourite punny Handbook headlines of 2018:

Food and drink is, if you’ll excuse the, er, pun, our bread and butter. And so it’s not surprising that we’ve deployed some of our worst punnery here. The rise of CBD products saw us getting high on our own supply of puns with the likes of The 6 Cannabis Joints Giving Us The Munchies and the frankly genius Under The Influencer: Insta Star Opens Cannabis Restaurant.

When we weren’t punning about drugs we were keeping it edgy with sex (a personal favourite being Keep Them Coming: London’s Best Pornstar Martinis) and good old fashioned profanity, like Forking Good Food: Farmer J Opens 2nd Restaurant and this absolute gem: Sh*t Just Got Rialto: Venice Icon Harry’s Arrives In London.

Food and drink also gave us Never Made A Haggis? Take a Masterclass, it’s Offaly Good…, as well as For Fawkes Sake, Try These Smokin’ Bonfire Night Cocktails! and the hat-on-a-hat-on-a-hat pungasm that is Rum’s The Word At The Kitchen That’s Jamaican Me Vegan.

Travel, too, yielded up some great pun opportunities. Go The Whole Hogmanay: New Year In Edinburgh was a little more sophisticated than Greece Yourself Up: Which Greek Island To Visit First? but keeping it simple is always the best advice, which we did with Oh Man: 8 Reasons to Visit Oman.

Given the steady flow of events to celebrate, we managed to honour these festive occasions with 10 Places To Seize The Day (Of The Dead), if only because Tequilla Mockingbird didn’t make sense (I’ll get it in somewhere in 2019 if it kills me), Wimble-Done! Where To Watch The Tennis This Summer, which may actually be the weakest on this page, the sublime The 17 Halloween Food and Drink Spots Creepin’ It Real (and its sister If You’ve Got It, Haunt It: 6 Millennial Halloween Costume Ideas – top pun tip, Halloween is the gift that keeps on giving) plus the highly predictable but the-old-ones-are-always-the-best Oktoberfest In London: The Best And The Wurst.

Whipping out the Christmassy puns wasn’t too hard either, check out Egg-Nog Yourself Out At 13 of London’s Best Winter Markets (we’ve had to explain this one too many times), All Fawn And Games: London’s Narnia Terraces Are Out Of Control!
and my personal favourite, Ho Ho Haute Courure: Claridges’ Designer Christmas Trees.

Some of our puns simply aren’t classifiable, like Sher-Lock Yourself In This Escape Room, which is about a Sherlock Holmes escape room (in case that wasn’t totally obvious), No More Namast’ay-ing in Bed: I-Guru Announce New Yoga Sessions (painful), Board Game Bars: Will You Take The Risk? (come on, that’s pretty decent), Licence To Netflix And Chill: Our Picks For The Next Bond and a guide to London swimming pools simply entitled 8 London Pools To See Before You Dive….

With so many puns to choose from it’s almost impossible to select a favourite, but I think No Mr Bond, I Expect You To Dine! London’s ‘Spystraunts’ was the one that pleased me most. But new year, new puns, so we’ll spend 2019 coming up with even more obscure, entertaining or downright stupid puns to keep your appetite sated, our brain cells buzzing and everyone’s eyes rolling.

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